You Are My Passion

The other day my Mom commented on how I hadn't put up a new post since December 17th. WOOPS! I decided to change that...
Ready for the grammatically-incorrect ramblings?

Recently, I've found myself tired, sick, frustrated and annoyed with the monotony of life. I guess you could say I've been in a "Funk". I do love my job and I love everything I'm involved with at church but it seems like those aspects of my life have stolen most of my time. If I'm not at work, I'm at home and completely unmotivated to do anything. Lately, I've found myself wishing the week away to get to the weekend, and desperately hoping that my days off will last longer.

When I sit back and examine my recent attitudes, I've realized how utterly wrong I've been. For one, I'm so distracted by work, I don't spend much time with Jesus. The other day I met up with some ladies from church to pray and worship, and while we were praying I felt complete peace, which is something I hadn't felt for a while. It wasn't like we had some "big, Spirit-filled" time or anything we were only communicating with our Father. Honestly, how hard is it for me to talk to Jesus? And how thick in the head do I have to be to forget to do that?

Also, how dare I wish the week away! God has placed me where I am right now, so obviously he has work for me to do.

This stuff is a constant battle with me... but I'm going to keep on fighting. How will I combat these attitudes?!
My greatest weapon is TRUTH and WORSHIP! The more I hear truth, the more I forget all of my worries and the more peace I gain...
God has been using this song today to lift me out of my frustrations and put my focus back on Him...

You Are My Passion:
I'm alive to bring, glory to You, King.
God of victory, You are my passion.
It's in the way your are, You don't change at all.
Great and humble God, You are my passion.

My strength in life, is I am Yours.
My soul delights because I am Yours.
Your will on earth is all I'm living for.

Jesus I glorify.
Jesus my love is Yours.
You are my heart's desire.
I live to know You more.

Light that breaks the darkness, showing what true love is.
Always full of goodness, You are my passion.
You never do me wrong, the meekest man but strong.
The most perfect song, You are my passion.

At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter where I live, where I work, or how terrible I feel.... When I push all off that stuff away, I know that :
My strength in life, is I am Yours.
My soul delights because I am Yours.
Your will on earth is all I'm living for.

I'm not going to settle with the frustrations of this world!
Living for more,
Abby

Christmas Reflections

Oh Christmas…

I have so many conflicting thoughts about this holiday. Part of me hates it because honestly, how can you love the saddening commercialization of this day. The message of Christmas as portrayed through our culture isn’t hopeful but instead mostly a bunch of empty promises. Each year I go through the same thing, around this time of December, I start to wonder… Why doesn’t it feel like Christmas? Where are the magical feelings that I had during my childhood? Why can’t I see those Coca-Cola commercials with the polar bears and feel like I did when I was a child? Why can’t I just listen to Christmas music and all of a sudden I’ll receive a jolt of Christmas Spirit?

So, this year… I’m going through the same thing; I want to be in the Christmas spirit. I want to be filled with joyous glee at the thought of this wonderful holiday season but I’m not. Why, oh why? Sure, getting presents is nice and giving presents does make me happy but it most certainly isn’t lasting joy.

Christmas is undeniably a Christian holiday and really centralizes Christianity. Now, I am a Christian (and by Christian, I mean, a follower and lover of Jesus Christ, not a judgmental person who attends church on Sunday and looks like they have their life together) but somehow I find myself lacking the excitement of this tremendous celebration. I’d like to blame my lack of excitement on the silly commercialization of the holiday but really, it all boils down to one reason: I forget. By saying “forget”, I don’t mean I literally forget why Christmas is celebrated. I meant, I forget why I should be celebrating.

I shouldn’t be celebrating because of the cute little baby that was born in a barn 2,000 years ago, and I recently discovered Santa wasn’t real, so that rules him out as the reason for the season. I should be celebrating because…

Jesus came humbly, giving up everything for life as an infant, and he didn’t just stay quiet while here on earth. He lived a perfect and blameless life…for me?!?! He taught a way of life through His words and actions. AND, He died for me, so that I may live the life I have now. A life of purpose, free of guilt and shame, knowing my identity is secure in Him. That’s my King: Jesus Christ! He is the reason for my very existence. He fills me with joy, peace and love! Reflecting on His goodness gives me a bigger dose of Christmas spirit than any spiked egg nog ever could! Wow, that wasn’t cheesy or anything…

6 days and counting until the big day... I hope I don't forget...After Christmas, I'll be looking to Easter! :D

New post?

I clicked the new post link without any ideas, specific thoughts or theme for this post. This could be bad. Normally, I like to have some sort of structure when writing... but I'm just going to "wing-it" and see what happens.

Oh!
Oh!
An idea popped into my head just now... funny, how that happens now and again. I've decided I'm going to write brief, random updates or thoughts... Here goes!

Recently, I had the chance to speak to the youth at ONEBLAZE Northeast. It was a pleasure. I was scared half to death (never having spoken before a large group of people before). I'm pretty sure it went well. I fretted over my notes in the weeks leading up to it but then the weirdest thing happened I had complete peace before and during my talk. (Maybe that's what Phillipians 4:7 is talking about? "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.") It was also a pleasure to see all these teens worship Jesus. I've seen a lot of these kids grow up and I'm sooo proud of each of them.

Friends are GREAT. I've been so blessed lately to have had the chance to make some of my friendships deep and meaningful. I've been experiencing what it means to be in community with people and it's been amazing as well as VERY refreshing! I don't want to have surfacey relationships. I don't want to just be silly with my friends. I long for genuine, meaningful friendships that go deeper than the surface. I don't want to just notice people's burdens, I want to help carry them with them.

Have I ever mention how I love my job? I really do! It's truly a joy to work at Dos Amigos. Not only do I get to make food for people (which is something I love to do) but I also get to listen to awesome music all the time. (Like, Regina Spektor, Cat Stevens, Florence and the Machines, Beirut, Dead Man's Bones, etc...) Score! Also, I've thoroughly enjoyed working in the hub of Rochester (not that it's much to speak of) and see all the different characters. I love my co-workers, and my bosses (all 3 of them) are great people as well!

I've been contemplating buying a car. I mean, I'm 19 years old... I should really have one! But, at the same time... buying a car seems like such a permanent thing... I'm home for a while to live with my parents and save money. I don't know if a car with suck all my savings. This is really such a petty thing, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. There was even a jeep that looked almost exactly like the one in "Gilmore Girls" that I thought would be awesome to own. Watch out... geeek alert! ;)

Why is it that I always choose to blog at such late hours? It happens every time! I think it's because I'm free of distractions. In my entire house, I'm the only one awake... no one is going to interrupt me with a question or anything. I guess that's the best answer I can come up with for now.

I feel as though my blog should have been called, "Gramatically incorrect, typo-mania"... Because I always blog so late... my thoughts get mixed up and I'm too tired to re-read most of what I've written and don't check for errors. Oh well, it's not like I'm getting graded! Hah, that's so liberating!

I'm really not sure if anyone reads my blog, or even if it's worth reading (especially, this post.) I do, however, want to continue to write. I feel like even if no one ever reads this... I may want to read it later in life.
So, if you're reading... Sorry, if I've wasted your time...

I'm still here... in NH. Living in the same house I grew up in and I spend most of my time at work... but hey, I have to keep on reminding myself. I'm doing all of this in faith, knowing that Jesus has great plans for my life and that this is just a season to be enjoyed, no matter how ordinary it may seem.
Living for more,
Abby

I've been thinking and according to myself, I'm very good at thinking. (Sorry, random inside joke, I couldn't help it) ANYWAYS, tonight I've been reflecting on my life and how I'm basically a loser in the world's perspective...
- I was home schooled
- Never been kissed
- Never been on a date
- Never been in a relationship
- 19 years old and living at home
- Never owned my own car
- I purposefully wear mismatching accessories, or clothes
- I go to church on Sunday mornings
- I don't really like Top 40's music
Basically, I'm not what the world would consider a "cool" person.

We live in a world filled with people who feel pressured to be a certain way. Culture tells us that we need to be in a relationship to be cool, we need to look a certain way and wear certain things to be beautiful, and we need to accumulate lots of possessions to make us happy. How depressing! My heart breaks for those who are believing these lies and ending up disappointed.

My heart also bursts with joy when I think about Jesus. He not only saved me but set me free!

Yes, I have been a Christian for most of my life, but I'll tell you right now that I've had my fair share of struggles. For years and years, I believed the lies I stated earlier. I honestly believed that I WAS a loser. All I wanted was to be beautiful, to have a guy look at me and say, "She's mine. I love her." I just longed to feel wanted and complete. How silly was I to look for satisfaction in worldly things. What I didn't know was that Jesus had already said those words to me. He had already claimed me as His own, and showered His unconditional love on me. He was there during those dark nights, where I wondered if it would be better if I had never been born. He never let me go, never left my side and never stopped loving me. It took time before I stopped believing those lies... It was a battle. Every day I had to take my thoughts captive and say, "No". God's patience with me is a miracle in itself, although, the biggest miracle is that I was set free. He rescued me!!!

Our society talks about the importance of self-confidence. I say we should throw that out the window! I have no reason to be confident in myself. I haven't done anything special and am not especially gifted either. I am only complete because I have Jesus. Our confidence should only be in Him. His love is more than enough for me! A life spent living for Him is more rewarding and beautiful than any life spent with anyone who ever lived. He is the reason why I don't care what people think. I know that I am a daughter of the King of kings and that's truly enough for me.
This world and my life on it is temporary. God and the time I'll spend with Him is eternal.
Living for more,
Abby :)

I know these things to be true...

I know these things to be true:

• Nothing in our world is perfect.
• Nothing in our world can satisfy us.
• Some of the people we love will cause us pain.
• Some of the dreams we have will end in disappointment.
• There will be times when we feel alone.
• There will be times when we want to give up.

Not very hopeful sounding, huh?

Wait, there is more...

I also know these things to be true:

• We were not meant for this world.
• We can be completely satisfied.
• There is someone who will never harm us.
• There is someone who has better plans for us than the ones we have for ourselves.
• This person is Jesus and He will never leave us or forsake us.
• This person called Jesus, didn't give up on us but instead He bore all of our sins willingly, and defeated death.

I know this to be true... Things in life can try to trip us up, but we can remain standing because we have a firm foundation in Christ.

Psalm 40:2- "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set me feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."

Whether this post is coherent or not, I don't know! I'm so in awe of God's faithfulness through everything and find it so helpful to dwell on the truth of the Gospel during times of confusion. I'm so thankful for my Saviour!
Living for more,
Abby

Procrastination should be my middle name

Well, I'm good at this whole blogging thing, huh? I guess I fail... Actually, no... I don't fail! I win because I'm on Jesus' team and he wins. Phewww... Glad to have that out of the way.

So yes, I have procrastinated updating my blog. Woops.

Alrighty, I want to give a quick update on my life.
I've been home from Missouri for 2 months! It seems like forever to me. There have been times when I wonder... Did I dream last year? Did I ever really leave New England? I do know the truth. I know that last year was an amazing one to say the least and I have a bajillion pictures to prove it. (Thank-you, Stacey!) Readjusting to home has had it's ups and downs but God has proved Himself faithful once again. There have been times when I was totally confused about why I came home in the first place but He gently whispered, "I know what I'm doing with your life. Calm down." There have been times when I wondered, "Will I ever get a job?" and then, out of nowhere He provides me with the most amazing job ever. (For those who don't know, I'm working at a place called "Dos Amigos Burritos" in my town.) There have also been times when I've felt lonely and wondered if I even had any friends and then... *BAM! God reminds me of His unending love and grace towards me. To sum it all up: Readjusting isn't easy but I'm not going through it alone.

The more I live my life, the more I'm convinced... Jesus really is the only one worth living for! He never disappoints me, never gets impatient with me, never stops loving me, never holds a grudge against me AND, He calls me to live a life of purpose! I know that in Him, I have joy, peace and complete satisfaction. He is more than worthy of my life.
Living for more,

Abz

What's in a name?

So, I felt like I should post a blog explaining why my blog is named: "Not settling for this world..."

A few months back, Stacey (my FYT partner) and I were at CCOJ (Christ's Church of Joplin) late after a seminar. We were the only people in the church building, so we decided to worship together. Just a few minutes into worship and I felt like God was speaking to me and urging me to sing out a prophetic song. The song went like this,

My Child, I have called you!
I have called you!
My child, I have called you to more than you're living...
Why are you settling for this world?

I know this idea of living for something more had been on my mind many times before but somehow, it really hit me this time. I'm thinking it's because I heard this directly from God by the power of His Holy Spirit. Ever since that night, the question, "Why are you settling for this world?" has popped into my mind at random times. This word from God has not only made me think, but challenged me to live radically for Him. It's also caused me to remember that nothing on this earth will satisfy me completely, and that if I don't keep my eyes on Jesus I'll soon be lost in the fleeting desires of this earth. I'm so glad that He does call us to something more!

There you have it! ^^^That is what's in a name, or should I say the name of my blog! (;
Living for more,
Abby