It's time...

It's time to start blogging again. Writing is therapeutic for me. Not because I get to exclaim "Woe is me!" all the time but because it helps me to organize my thoughts and get down to what's really important: Jesus. My head is a mess. I can't even begin to put into words everything that goes on in my brain. I'm always pondering multiple things at a time and what's really important tends to get muddled by what I'm going to make for dinner, that awesome song I heard earlier or the spider crawling across the floor. You get the picture.

Life is so unpredictable. It amazes me the good and sweet things you can experience amidst hard times. Today I've been struggling more than usual. I've felt anxious all day and my head has been in a fog while my heart was overwhelmingly heavy but God has exchanged my heavy heart for joy in praising His name. This song is one that I can't stop singing tonight:

You have redeemed my soul
From the pit of emptiness
You have redeemed my soul 
From death

I was a hungry child 
A dried up river
I was a burned out forest
And no one could do anything for me
But You put food in my body
And water in my dried bed
And to my blackened branches
You brought the springtime
Green of new life
And nothing is impossible for You


When I'm struggling or going through tough times, it's easy for me to lose perspective. The fact of the matter is that I was a hungry child, a dried up river, burned out forest, beyond help from earthly powers BUT, He fed me, gave me water and brought the springtime green of new life. He has redeemed me from the pit of emptiness and the sting of death. When I lose perspective, I start slipping back into that pit of despair but He graciously reminds me that He has accomplished what I could not accomplish. He has redeemed my soul. He has brought me into the presence of my Father, where I can be daily refreshed and filled with eternal hope even amidst trials. Nothing is impossible for Him. 

I'm resting in the fact that He is good at all times. Friends, know that He has redeemed YOU and that we can rest secure in Jesus, even when the world seems like it's falling apart. Nothing is impossible for Him. He is worthy of all that we have! Oh Lord, You are good! 

Living for more,
Abby

Psalm 1

One thing everyone should know about me is that I love the book of Psalms. Every time I read it, I find myself immensely encouraged and refreshed. It seems like I am always reading new passages that have a groundbreaking affect on my life and they always fill me with awe at the power of the word of God. I do regret that I don't know the book of Psalms better and that I've never fully studied it, so here I am, attempting to start a journey... My plan is to study a new Psalm each day, journal about it and then choose a section of the Psalm to meditate on throughout the day. So... here goes...

Psalm 1 is titled: "The way of the Wicked and Righteous" and in the study notes of my bible it says that this Psalm reminds the readers that at the end of the day, there is only two ways to live your life.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; for the LORD knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish. (Psalm 1 ESV)

The Wicked: people who refused to live by the covenant, "walk, stand, sit" metaphors referring to being "loyal". "Chaff that the wind drives away", those who reject God's covenant are life chaff meaning that they bring no benefit to anyone. (yikes! :-/ )

The Righteous: delight in the law of the LORD, and meditate on it day and night, the Lord knows their ways. Law of the LORD is probably referring to His covenant with His people. Jesus is the fulfillment of that promise. His covenant is one filled with "grace". It's important to remember that. This passage could totally be taken the wrong way and make people feel like we need to earn our righteousness but really, we need to think about the greatness of God's covenant with His people. It really is something to delight in! Jesus is our delight!

The end of this chapter brings a harsh reality that our lives will end one of two ways. The wicked are going to perish for forever and the righteous will be united with Jesus for all eternity. Of course, the latter option is not so harsh... I'm personally GREATLY looking forward to worshipping Jesus and falling on my face in awe of His awesomeness, however, I am heartbroken for those who don't know Him. I hate how I take each conversation for granted, how I shirk away from talking about Jesus and how sometimes I stifle the spirit with my own plans.

Oh God, that you would use me to bring more of your children to You. Inconvenience my plans, shatter them, give me your eyes, focus and love for your people. Let me not take my own salvation for granted but let me live in the joy of knowing that I am saved by your grace and that I will one day be with you forever. Thank you for your covenant to your people, thank you for fulfilling your promises and thank you for sending your son! What a perfect plan and what a perfect God you are! I'm honored to be called your daughter.

5 months.

Five months ago today seemed like any other day. It was the beginning of my long-awaited vacation in Joplin. Then something so terrible and seemingly unheard of hit one of my most beloved towns. May 22, 2011 Joplin Missouri was hit by one of the most destructive tornados on record. It was the most shocking, heart-breaking thing I'd ever witnessed.

Five months later at 8pm, I found myself on the set of a TV show that I grew up watching. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition was a staple TV show in my house since it first aired. Every Sunday night was a Baker Family Night where we'd watch the show, so excited to see the gorgeous and elaborate homes built for very deserving families. My Dad would always end up in tears because that's just who my Dad is! I love him.

This opportunity of working on the set of EMHE was a unique and rewarding experience and I'm very grateful for it. Not only am I so thankful that seven VERY deserving families are getting a home but I'm also filled with thanksgiving for one of those deserving families because I have the pleasure of knowing them. Tonight I got to see their house. Wow! I even got to carry tiles to their gorgeous new deck. I found out it has 4 bedrooms and the builder is so excited to meet the family. What an amazing guy! So generous and kind! I’m filled with joy for my friends!

As I was on the set of Extreme Makeover: Seven Houses in Seven Days, I thought of the only other time I'd seen this many volunteers in one place and that was after the tornado. The day after the tornado hit Joplin, my best friend and I went out into the city to help out. Everywhere you went and looked, there were volunteers who had poured in from all over the country. Now here we are 5 months later, people are still pouring in from everywhere to lend a hand to Joplin. One of the coolest things I saw on set--minus the houses-- was a huge map with pinpoints of where people had come from to volunteer for this build. People from all over the country and even all around the world! It was amazing!

Yes, the jobs we were assigned weren't always very fun. In the time span of my six hour shift, I found myself raking rocks, cleaning up the build sites, moving extremely heavy boxes of flooring, sweeping dust off of one of the house floors and other random tasks as well. I may have only got to step inside a couple of the houses and none of the celebrities were around but it was such a rewarding experience and I thank God that I was able to take part in it. I'm so thankful for His provision and guidance in the rebuilding of this city. I'm so hopeful that Joplin will be rebuilt and together the people will overcome the horrors of this tornado.

On May 22, it seemed like nothing would ever be the same in Joplin and yes that actually is true...nothing will be the same. This city will always remember the tornado. I believe that Joplin is still just as strong as it was the day before the tornado and I believe it's actually stronger because of it. We mourn the loss of the hundreds of people that died and we are heartbroken for the family members left behind. I know that they'll never fully recover from this but I know that there is hope. I saw hope the day after the tornado in the form of volunteers. I saw hope last night again in the same form of volunteers. I see hope daily in God's provision and love for each person in the city. I hear stories all the time that are a testament to His goodness through provision. I believe in a good God and I know He's good because I believe that He sent His son Jesus to redeem us. I know He sent His son for the people of Joplin and that He's continuing to reveal His goodness through the recovery of this city. He certainly is a good God who is taking care of His children in Joplin. Thank you, Lord! We ask for more! You are the God of this city.

A Week of Hymns

I LOVE HYMNS! Growing up, I'll admit... I thought hymns were lame.

Now, I've completely changed my mind. I LOVE THEM! A lot of my favorites are both poetically beautiful but also powerful beyond compare!

So this week I'm going to post one of my favorite Hymns per day... Keep a look out!

You Are My Passion

The other day my Mom commented on how I hadn't put up a new post since December 17th. WOOPS! I decided to change that...
Ready for the grammatically-incorrect ramblings?

Recently, I've found myself tired, sick, frustrated and annoyed with the monotony of life. I guess you could say I've been in a "Funk". I do love my job and I love everything I'm involved with at church but it seems like those aspects of my life have stolen most of my time. If I'm not at work, I'm at home and completely unmotivated to do anything. Lately, I've found myself wishing the week away to get to the weekend, and desperately hoping that my days off will last longer.

When I sit back and examine my recent attitudes, I've realized how utterly wrong I've been. For one, I'm so distracted by work, I don't spend much time with Jesus. The other day I met up with some ladies from church to pray and worship, and while we were praying I felt complete peace, which is something I hadn't felt for a while. It wasn't like we had some "big, Spirit-filled" time or anything we were only communicating with our Father. Honestly, how hard is it for me to talk to Jesus? And how thick in the head do I have to be to forget to do that?

Also, how dare I wish the week away! God has placed me where I am right now, so obviously he has work for me to do.

This stuff is a constant battle with me... but I'm going to keep on fighting. How will I combat these attitudes?!
My greatest weapon is TRUTH and WORSHIP! The more I hear truth, the more I forget all of my worries and the more peace I gain...
God has been using this song today to lift me out of my frustrations and put my focus back on Him...

You Are My Passion:
I'm alive to bring, glory to You, King.
God of victory, You are my passion.
It's in the way your are, You don't change at all.
Great and humble God, You are my passion.

My strength in life, is I am Yours.
My soul delights because I am Yours.
Your will on earth is all I'm living for.

Jesus I glorify.
Jesus my love is Yours.
You are my heart's desire.
I live to know You more.

Light that breaks the darkness, showing what true love is.
Always full of goodness, You are my passion.
You never do me wrong, the meekest man but strong.
The most perfect song, You are my passion.

At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter where I live, where I work, or how terrible I feel.... When I push all off that stuff away, I know that :
My strength in life, is I am Yours.
My soul delights because I am Yours.
Your will on earth is all I'm living for.

I'm not going to settle with the frustrations of this world!
Living for more,
Abby

Christmas Reflections

Oh Christmas…

I have so many conflicting thoughts about this holiday. Part of me hates it because honestly, how can you love the saddening commercialization of this day. The message of Christmas as portrayed through our culture isn’t hopeful but instead mostly a bunch of empty promises. Each year I go through the same thing, around this time of December, I start to wonder… Why doesn’t it feel like Christmas? Where are the magical feelings that I had during my childhood? Why can’t I see those Coca-Cola commercials with the polar bears and feel like I did when I was a child? Why can’t I just listen to Christmas music and all of a sudden I’ll receive a jolt of Christmas Spirit?

So, this year… I’m going through the same thing; I want to be in the Christmas spirit. I want to be filled with joyous glee at the thought of this wonderful holiday season but I’m not. Why, oh why? Sure, getting presents is nice and giving presents does make me happy but it most certainly isn’t lasting joy.

Christmas is undeniably a Christian holiday and really centralizes Christianity. Now, I am a Christian (and by Christian, I mean, a follower and lover of Jesus Christ, not a judgmental person who attends church on Sunday and looks like they have their life together) but somehow I find myself lacking the excitement of this tremendous celebration. I’d like to blame my lack of excitement on the silly commercialization of the holiday but really, it all boils down to one reason: I forget. By saying “forget”, I don’t mean I literally forget why Christmas is celebrated. I meant, I forget why I should be celebrating.

I shouldn’t be celebrating because of the cute little baby that was born in a barn 2,000 years ago, and I recently discovered Santa wasn’t real, so that rules him out as the reason for the season. I should be celebrating because…

Jesus came humbly, giving up everything for life as an infant, and he didn’t just stay quiet while here on earth. He lived a perfect and blameless life…for me?!?! He taught a way of life through His words and actions. AND, He died for me, so that I may live the life I have now. A life of purpose, free of guilt and shame, knowing my identity is secure in Him. That’s my King: Jesus Christ! He is the reason for my very existence. He fills me with joy, peace and love! Reflecting on His goodness gives me a bigger dose of Christmas spirit than any spiked egg nog ever could! Wow, that wasn’t cheesy or anything…

6 days and counting until the big day... I hope I don't forget...After Christmas, I'll be looking to Easter! :D

New post?

I clicked the new post link without any ideas, specific thoughts or theme for this post. This could be bad. Normally, I like to have some sort of structure when writing... but I'm just going to "wing-it" and see what happens.

Oh!
Oh!
An idea popped into my head just now... funny, how that happens now and again. I've decided I'm going to write brief, random updates or thoughts... Here goes!

Recently, I had the chance to speak to the youth at ONEBLAZE Northeast. It was a pleasure. I was scared half to death (never having spoken before a large group of people before). I'm pretty sure it went well. I fretted over my notes in the weeks leading up to it but then the weirdest thing happened I had complete peace before and during my talk. (Maybe that's what Phillipians 4:7 is talking about? "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.") It was also a pleasure to see all these teens worship Jesus. I've seen a lot of these kids grow up and I'm sooo proud of each of them.

Friends are GREAT. I've been so blessed lately to have had the chance to make some of my friendships deep and meaningful. I've been experiencing what it means to be in community with people and it's been amazing as well as VERY refreshing! I don't want to have surfacey relationships. I don't want to just be silly with my friends. I long for genuine, meaningful friendships that go deeper than the surface. I don't want to just notice people's burdens, I want to help carry them with them.

Have I ever mention how I love my job? I really do! It's truly a joy to work at Dos Amigos. Not only do I get to make food for people (which is something I love to do) but I also get to listen to awesome music all the time. (Like, Regina Spektor, Cat Stevens, Florence and the Machines, Beirut, Dead Man's Bones, etc...) Score! Also, I've thoroughly enjoyed working in the hub of Rochester (not that it's much to speak of) and see all the different characters. I love my co-workers, and my bosses (all 3 of them) are great people as well!

I've been contemplating buying a car. I mean, I'm 19 years old... I should really have one! But, at the same time... buying a car seems like such a permanent thing... I'm home for a while to live with my parents and save money. I don't know if a car with suck all my savings. This is really such a petty thing, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. There was even a jeep that looked almost exactly like the one in "Gilmore Girls" that I thought would be awesome to own. Watch out... geeek alert! ;)

Why is it that I always choose to blog at such late hours? It happens every time! I think it's because I'm free of distractions. In my entire house, I'm the only one awake... no one is going to interrupt me with a question or anything. I guess that's the best answer I can come up with for now.

I feel as though my blog should have been called, "Gramatically incorrect, typo-mania"... Because I always blog so late... my thoughts get mixed up and I'm too tired to re-read most of what I've written and don't check for errors. Oh well, it's not like I'm getting graded! Hah, that's so liberating!

I'm really not sure if anyone reads my blog, or even if it's worth reading (especially, this post.) I do, however, want to continue to write. I feel like even if no one ever reads this... I may want to read it later in life.
So, if you're reading... Sorry, if I've wasted your time...

I'm still here... in NH. Living in the same house I grew up in and I spend most of my time at work... but hey, I have to keep on reminding myself. I'm doing all of this in faith, knowing that Jesus has great plans for my life and that this is just a season to be enjoyed, no matter how ordinary it may seem.
Living for more,
Abby